i think i hate the word abuse tho because its like you have to call anything abuse to legitimize it as hurtful and like i cant even put the hell!college stuff and the exfriend stuff in the same category but at the same time theres this pull to if i call it that, i will gain catharsis and what can you do how can you resist that
“abuse” is just “people hurt me, it was a hurt that invaded my brain and stripped me of my personhood” with added political clout
and i hate that “people hurt me” by itself does not have political clout
It really does cut both ways, because if you insist on naming something that was hurtful and dehumanizing and terrifying and traumatic, etc as “abuse” people will accuse you of just naming it that because of the power associated with the word “abuse”, for that political clout
like “you’re just exaggerating”, “it was just hurt feelings”, “why did that even make you feel that way, how weak are you”
it is so alienating on every single level, ugh.
(not to mention that it’s a pretty standard tactic of abusers to make counter-accusations against their victims, so like, one thing I’ve seen a lot recently in “radical” circles is abuse accusations just coming down to who has more social capital, and guess what, abusive people tend to have a lot of that because that’s how abusers work, and they’ll manipulate the language around abuse to their advantage because they have no fucking morals)