I really wish there was some kind of support group for adoptive-siblings-of-kids-who-are-going-through-crap-that-brings-up-a-lot-of-shit-for-the-adoptive-siblings, so that I could have a place/way of talking about my current family situation with my brother without feeling like I’m just making it all about me, or feeling shitty for talking about my brother’s issues and needs with other people who aren’t family members.

god why is adoption so complicated and hard for everyone. Why are institutions so awful at dealing with everything my family needs them to be competent at dealing with. Why is just finding a safe place for my brother to be for a month or two so fraught with risk. Why can’t I be there for him more than I am, why am I such a shitty, absent big sister, why, why, why.