Why I will not engage with anyone who insists on using the term “sexuals”, and justifies that with “but sexuals are privileged!”

raumlet:

missvoltairine:

[a lot of good points that I still am just shaking my head over because see below]

So give us another option.  Give us something to call you that doesn’t other asexuals like non-ace or not on the asexual spectrum, give us something that doesn’t have conflicts with other words or connotations like alisexual, something that isn’t stupid like Orange Twizzled Jumpers, and something that isn’t on the asexual community to come up with.

If you want us to stop using asexual, give us a word!  Many of us have REPEATEDLY STATED that we are willing to use something else if it doesn’t mark aces as the odd one out.  You may have noticed (if you actually cared and looked around for it) that there has been a very large amount of discussion amongst mostly aces to find a better word.  Help us out, and we’ll stop using sexuals!

You’re not listening.

I am not obligated to engage in any kind of discourse with you, when you REPEATEDLY REFUSE to stop using a term to describe that is triggering and oppressive.

"We’d stop using this triggering and oppressive term if you’d just engage with us and give us something to call you that we agree with on our (marginalization-denying/erasing) terms!"

Yeah, I’m sooooooo sure this conversation will be productive.

I’ve specifically, personally engaged in these discussions before, multiple fucking times, and it always ends up in the same place. Calling non-ace folks by our actual, personal sexual identities (bisexual, pansexual, queer, etc) is too “wordy”. Calling us non-asexual people is “normalizing” our sexualities (regardless of whether or not they have ever been historically normalized). You - I mean you specifically, raumlet, as well as other prominent ace voices like outlawroad - have framed this whole thing in terms that are not inclusive or friendly to non-ace folks, and then you use this fucked up terminology to refer to us, and THEN when we disengage, we’re the bad guys?

Right. This is why I’m done.

  1. thefisherqueen reblogged this from missvoltairine and added:
    Super important read! Why the idea of sexual privilege is so problematic.
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