omg I used to think of Ontario as being like, SO FAR EAST, THE MOST EASTERN CANADA, then I moved to Quebec
As a Manitoban I feel obligated to tell you that fuck you Alberta is so much worse than us.
AT LEAST WE’RE NOT MANITOBA OH MAN.
tonight in Heart Of My Own’s comments section
I got up for a drink when I was a child and overheard my brother’s conception. I thought I would just sneak back to my room and pretend the whole thing didn’t happen, and then fell down the entire stairs.
OH MY GOD
this is the best comment anyone has ever left on my blog
oh god, growing up I had a friend who was named after the place of her conception, I can’t even understand how you could do that to a child
the less I know about the details of my conception the better
the stork brought me, that is my story and i’m sticking to it
It’s literally the only entertainment we have besides CBC radio
I mean sure, there’s some interesting stuff on there, but there’s only so much of Jonathan Goldstein’s constant self-deprication that we can listen to before we start to get a little punchy
I am probably going to be at my grandmother’s bedside this summer, as she lies on her deathbed, and she will beckon to me, and I will lean in, and with her last breath she will say, “you were made in the USA”
and I will be forever tortured because even that is way too much information for me about my parents’ sex life
Yeah well Toronto is 1/5 of Canada’s population and it doesn’t get 1/5 of Canada’s resources. Or it’s ridings in parliament. Alberta however has way more than it’s proportional representation AND it’s not very popular either.v
Alberta is basically the Texas of Canada, but less aggressive and therefore more frequently forgotten. But at least they’re not Manitoba? I think that’s maybe their official provincial motto: “At Least We’re Not Manitoba”. I have been present for serious heated arguments over whether Manitoba is an eastern or western province, with each side of the country arguing that Manitoba belongs to the other side. We really just can never work that one out.
Toronto has some legit complaints but all of not-Toronto-Canada has a serious hatecrush on Toronto. We all sleep with maps of Canada under our pillows, and every night before we go to sleep we smack Toronto. “You’re so smug, I just wanna smack your beautiful stupid face,” we whisper.
This is especially true of people from Vancouver.
My canadian identity is really funny to me, because I’m mostly Canadian because of my father’s family and their really strong identification as CANDIANS (although they were immigrants), I am actually the only non-inlaw in my mother’s family who isn’t an American citizen. To this day my grandmother still insists that I was “made in the USA” and am not really a REAL Canadian because of this.
100% right about mont royal it’s just a largish hill
i don’t understand, one of my coworkers is really insistent that it’s a mountain? and then eventually they conceded that MAYBE it wasn’t, “but we still have the Laurentians”
Every time I hear “the Laurentians” I still think people are talking about pencil crayons and I get rly confused sometimes, even though i have been to the Laurentians
i was not impressed, tbh. U CALL THOSE MOUNTAINS. WHERE ARE THE ICE FIELDS.
i seriously grew up hearing/telling “stupid Newfoundlander” jokes and was genuinely confused the first time i heard the same jokes told about blonde people
I wonder if Newfoundlanders tell stupid British Columbian jokes, I kind of hope they do.
I had no idea there was so much inner-Canada drama.
inter-province drama is a huge part of Canadian identity tbh
you should see some of the fights I’ve started by trash-talking Mount Royale here in Montreal as a British Columbian
THAT IS NOT A REAL MOUNTAIN OKAY IT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE SNOW ON IT ALL YEAR ROUND
also everyone hates Toronto and Toronto hates everyone
Quebec is pretty much it’s own country in the middle of a larger country
Newfoundlander jokes are Canada’s version of “dumb blonde” jokes
hey now don’t back talk my mall
hey hey hey it’s not the mall’s fault
there used to be a whale that you could sit in in the mall but they took it out for a seating area
wow i did not know Edmontonions were so protective of their mall
I remember thinking it was a big deal when I was like, 12 but then I went there on a band tour (also when I was 12) and it was just really boring and I was like “why do you even bother having the biggest mall if it’s so boring”
we weren’t allowed to go swimming, that was probably a big source of my antipathy.
Everyone on SVU: “well, if there’s one thing we learned from this case, it’s that the Oilers fucking suck.”
it’s the most recent episode!
lol i love how so much of my blog lately is getting people to watch (subjectively) terrible TV
one time my mom was at a conference for mothers in academia and one of the women there gave a presentation on “queering motherhood with technology”, where she argued that despite the fact that she was straight and married to a man with 2 kids and a minivan in the suburbs, she…
this is hilarious but what does having two kids and a minivan in the suburbs have to do with being/not being queer? if she had five kids and a horse drawn cart in the wilderness and was straight she’d still be just as obnoxious.
so like, obviously there are queer people who live in the suburbs and straight people who live in the woods but also there are like, class markers and ways in which some straight families actually are socially devalued, though not in the same ways that queer families necessarily are, and poor rural straight families and middle-class suburban straight families are actually seen/experienced/treated really differently so uh
it actually is important to note that she was from a middle-class, if not affluent, area, and using the fact that she had access to all this contemporary technology and money as a framework, and not a poor, rural mother with limited access to technology
